


Ice Cream, I Scream

by vaderina



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: De-Aged Newt, Humour, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-07 01:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14070054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaderina/pseuds/vaderina
Summary: Newt is doused in a potion which reverts him to the body of a 4 year old toddler while his mind stays much the same. Never has a toddler been known to swear this much.





	Ice Cream, I Scream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mamin_the_troll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamin_the_troll/gifts).



> Inspired by this wonderful piece of artwork:  
> http://mamin-the-troll.tumblr.com/post/172004705148/there-arent-enough-de-aged-newt-fic-in-this

The most underrated thing about Newt’s abilities was the way he excelled at acting. At first it had been around his creatures, soft and shy with some while confident yet not domineering with others. It was a fine line he danced but nobody quite seemed to appreciate it. They were more concerned with his ability to stick his nose where it didn’t belong, make a general nuisance of himself where creatures were concerned and his unerring knack for making their Director smile.

It was another moment of flabbergasted frustration when Newt had beaten the team to the site of illegal operations. However, much like things tended to go with Newt around, it wasn’t plain sailing. When the aurors had arrived and taken up their places in advance of the bust Newt was in the middle of being wrangled to the ground, wand kicked out of the way. Collectively hearts constricted at the small cry Newt let out when he was hurled to the floor and wands pointed at him. The order to attack hadn’t gone out yet so all the aurors could do was watch as Newt scrabbled backwards, scooting on his backside, eyes wide with fear.

“Please.” His voice cracked as his back hit a crate. “I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

His captors along with the aurors watched him as his lower lip wobbled. Somewhere an auror let out a little whimper as tears began to trickle down Newt’s cheeks. He raised a trembling hand to protect his face from the wands pointed at him and a small hiccupping sob shook his shoulders.

“Oh for Morgana’s sake. This is pathetic.” One of the criminals growled and everyone in the room agreed. Newt peered up through teary eyelashes, arm still out in front of him.

“I only wanted to help the occamy. Her cage looked so small.” Newt said, voice wobbly and weak.

“Well, we need her that way. Her tears are what make this operation so successful.” The wands began to lower as Newt whimpered and shook under their stares. The signal to begin the crackdown couldn’t come soon enough and the aurors tensed. So did Newt and after a sniff he lunged. His captors were not prepared for the snivelling man cowering to lash out with such speed or assuredness. Newt grabbed a wand from a lax grip and spun to sweep legs from under another. The wand in his hand bent to his will as it turned on its owner and Newt had singlehandedly disarmed half the criminals by the time the aurors realised they should probably act rather than watch Newt combine magic and dirty fighting techniques to conquer.

“About time you joined in.” Newt greeted them as he elbowed a criminal in the stomach remorselessly.

“Get your occamy and get out.” Percival grumbled as he cast a full body bind spell behind him without looking. He never claimed to be above showing off to impress his lover. Newt laughed and weaved his way to the cage. There he coaxed the frightened creature out and sequestered her in one of his many pockets. Around him the fighting had stopped, the criminals successfully apprehended and a few of them were glowering at him.

"You bastard.” One of them cried and bared his teeth at Newt.

“Oh do fuck off.” Newt retorted unrepentant.

“We were revolutionising sex. It’s your fault if things go back to the way they used to be now. You’ll be responsible.”

“You were making an illegal potion and making a very tidy profit from it. Cruelty to animals, profiteering without licence, manufacturing and distribution of dangerous experimental potion, encouragement of inappropriate conduct with minors – it’s a long list of felonies.” Percival joined the conversation as some of the aurors around them bustled with barrels.

“Do I want to know?” Newt asked tentatively as he fussed with his coat. The occamy didn’t want to stay in his pocket so Newt had swaddled his coat into a nest which seemed to settle her better.

“Not really. Think of what a potion that turns your body into that of a child but keeps the mind of an adult could be used for. I’ll leave it at that.” Percival frowned. Suddenly his eyes widened, his wand hand flew out but he was too late. The barrel two aurors had been trying to pick up from the top of a crate toppled towards Newt. A hasty spell from one of them shattered it rather than caught it and the glooping shimmery liquid inside it cascaded down all over Newt along with the remains of the barrel. It was almost as though Newt had disappeared but once the sludge settled there was a small boy swamped in a wet white shirt with an occamy in a large coat nest by his feet.

Nobody dared move. The instructions for the potion had only ever mentioned the maximum dosage of a vial. What a whole barrelful of the stuff would do, nobody knew. Horror ideas raced through minds, indefinite time spent locked in the body of a child, maybe even having a whole second childhood. Percival shivered at the idea of losing Newt both mind and body to a child who was still Newt but no longer his Newt. The child blinked the goo out of his eyes and stared up at everyone around him with a dazed gaze.

“Fuck.” His voice was reedy and childlike, cheeks a little chubby and limbs uncoordinated from the sudden change. “Bugger. Piss. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

Someone laughed but was quickly silenced by a glare from Percival.

“Newt?” he asked tentatively and approached the small toddler.

“Bloody hell Percival. Can’t you train your aurors to be more careful? The last fucking thing I needed was to be stuck like this.” Newt groused and tried to brush the goo off himself. A flick of Percival’s wand cleaned him and Newt toddled out of the puddle. The once small occamy now looked scarf sized around his shoulders.

“Let’s get you checked out by a healer.” Percival said and turned to walk towards an apparition point. Behind him Newt hurried on suddenly short legs.

“Wait up!” he gasped out of breath and Percival slowed. The glower he got from Newt was priceless when he finally caught up.

“Come along now.” Percival sighed and started walking again only for Newt to fall behind. There was something endearingly hilarious about watching a determined toddler powerwalk after the stoic director, a little scowl firmly etched on such an innocent face. When Percival was almost out of reach again Newt tugged at the tail of his coat hard. Once again Percival stopped and stared at Newt before smirking. Without a word he leaned down and scooped the toddler up who shrieked in undignified protest. A brisk few steps got them to the apparition point and they disappeared in a swirl of smoke.

Gossip spread like wildfire and before Newt was even cleared by the healers everyone knew of his plight. The first time Newt marched determinedly across the auror bullpen there was a collective sigh at how adorable he looked. It was obvious Percival had shrunk clothes to fit Newt, bowtie and mustard waistcoat included. However Newt’s wand had been confiscated, his magic was too unpredictable in his state. The one time he had tried to apparate from the healers’ chambers Percival nearly had a heart attack. Newt’s face had scrunched up in concentration but nothing happened.

“You’re not getting to Kansas like that Toto.” Percival had said once it became apparent Newt couldn’t apparate.

“Shut up Oz.” Newt shot back as he scowled ferociously. The effect was rather dampened by how utterly adorable he looked with his large eyes, wild curls and a healthy dose of baby fat padding his cheeks. The Healers weren’t able to determine how long Newt was going to be stuck in his current form but they were certain it wasn’t a permanent change. Guesses ranged from a week to a month and Percival could only sigh.

It wasn’t easy. Mostly because Newt didn’t let things be simple. His newly sized body meant he could sneak into places a lot more easily. Much like the meeting he wasn’t supposed to be attending with Percival and Seraphina. Just as they were wrapping up Newt tried to leave quietly. Percival saw him first and panicked.

“I was wondering whether you had a few minutes to discuss the department’s finances.” He asked Seraphina who eyed him with puzzlement.

“That’s not due until the end of the month. What can’t wait until then?” Percival stalled, he tried to manoeuvre so Seraphina’s back was to Newt and it seemed to work. Newt had tiptoed to the door with a thankful little grin when Seraphina spoke up again.

“Just where do you think you’re going Mr. Scamander?”  She turned to fix him with a stare. Immediately Newt’s lower lip wobbled, he looked up at Seraphina with wide teary eyes as she advanced towards him. The sniffling whimper broke Percival’s heart.

“Stop the crocodile tears at once Mr. Scamander, they won’t work on me.”

“Bugger.” Newt’s whole demeanour changed   as he wiped his face with a sleeve.

“Now that’s disgusting, at least use a handkerchief.” Percival grumbled and shoved his own one at Newt who happily took it. “Just what exactly were you doing here?”

“I came to offer my services. You can’t get into the warehouse because the windows are too small. Levitate me up to one and I can go in.”

“Ridiculous.”

“An interesting theory which may just work.” Percival and Seraphina spoke up at the same time and stared at each other in betrayal. Despite telling everyone that he was fine, Percival worried endlessly about Newt in his new, vulnerable form. He’d watched the apparent toddler tumble over his own feet and curl up for a nap when he thought nobody was looking. The idea of having him infiltrate a warehouse was utterly ridiculous.

“Absolutely not. Look at him Sera. He’s a child.” Percival insisted. Newt marched over to him, arms crossed over his chest and with fierce concentration kicked Percival in the shin as hard as he could. The surprise had Percival hopping more than the pain.

“What was that for?”

“If you’re going to treat me like a child I will behave like one. Now, we’re going to go to the warehouse tonight like planned. And when we’re done you’re going to take me for some ice cream for dinner you old codger.”

“I’m not old.” Percival’s immediate response perhaps focussed on the wrong things and Seraphina’s barely concealed laugh drew both their attention.

“You can come for ice cream too if you’d like.” Newt invited and smiled when Seraphina accepted gracefully.

That evening a small group of aurors gathered near their target. The warehouse was guarded, doors warded and crooks patrolled past them at regular intervals. However high up there was one window which was just big enough for Newt to squeeze through. Percival pursed his lips as he watched Newt be levitated higher and higher. The plan was simple and stupid in his eyes. Newt would sneak in and open a door from the inside which wouldn’t trigger the wards. And if caught he could play the role of a lost toddler which was bound to result in someone escorting him out of the building which meant the aurors could swarm in then.

There was the sound of breaking glass from somewhere within the warehouse. Everyone strained their ears and collectively shuddered when the shriek of an unhappy toddler ripped through the silent night. It grew closer, a full on tantrum of howling, screams breaking over hiccoughs and sniffles. A door opened and someone appeared with Newt thrashing under their arms in a most undignified hold. As soon as the door opened Newt went silent and limp, his assailant stopped in surprise. The shout of agony from Newt suddenly curling around and sinking his little teeth into their arm was heard far and wide. They dropped Newt and clutched at their arm. It was like watching a miniature tornado take on a castle. Newt punched and kicked where he could, in the shin, in the groin, Percival was fairly certain he saw Newt pinch the inside of his victim’s thigh at one point. By the time the aurors got to Newt his opponent was curled up on the ground groaning with Newt all but towering over him.

“Wanker.” Newt spat as the other person was dragged away and aurors flooded the warehouse. Percival stayed out with him and fretted over the scraped knees Newt seemed to have acquired. Shortly after going in the aurors filed out, criminals in tow and Newt stuck his tongue out at them as they walked past. One of them stuck their tongue out back at him and Newt let out a tinkling giggle of delight.

“Now, about my ice cream.” Newt hedged.

“Report first. Ice cream later.”

“Spoilsport.” Newt whine and stuck his hands up as he made a grabby hands motion. “Up.”

Percival obeyed before he had a chance to think about it. He only paused when Newt was up on his shoulders, little heels kicking to speed him up and encourage him onwards. Resigned, Percival shook his head and began to make his way back to MACUSA without comment. While it was certainly a sight to behold, the Director of Magical Security marching through the halls with a familiar looking toddler sat atop his shoulders and holding onto his hair, nobody said anything.

“Come on you menace, down.” Percival said after he ducked into Seraphina’s office for their joint debrief. It went by fairly quickly, Newt brushing the facts of his full blown tantrum under the carpet.

“Now, that’s done. Can we please go get ice cream? I know just the place open this time of night.” Newt pestered. Seraphina and Percival exchanged looks.

“I guess we did promise.” Seraphina rose from her chair and tried not to smirk at Percival’s look of betrayal. The three of them made their way down to the late night ice cream parlour, Newt sat on Percival’s hip when he got too tired to walk. Once inside they sat down and looked at the menu.

“I’ll have my usual please.” Newt told Percival seriously.

“I don’t think you can manage five scoops of ice cream with extra whipped cream, two chocolate rods along with a large chocolate milkshake with cream and chocolate flakes.” Percival looked at Newt. Seraphina buried her face in the menu to hide her laughter.

“I’ll have my usual.” Newt’s voice was firm and Percival threw up his hands. Orders placed they could only look at the waiter helplessly as Newt’s gigantic order was placed in front of a toddler.

“My, my, my. What a lovely family picture this is. I didn’t realise you’d decided to play happy families.” A sickeningly sweet voice cut into their enjoyment. Grindelwald approached their table, wand out. The other patrons fled terrified at the sight. His gaze settled on Newt. “Did you adopt? Or are your Irish roots showing Percival?”

Newt pressed himself into Percival’s side, eyes huge as he stared up at Grindelwald who grinned coldly. After a moment Grindelwald ran a finger through Newt’s ice cream and licked it with a thoughtful hum.

“A little too much for a wisp of a twig like him.” Grindelwald commented as his wand was aimed at Newt. He took another helping of the ice cream. Newt whined.

“That’s mine.” Percival and Seraphina stared at Newt in disbelief – if they weren’t mistaken there was a lisp to his words.

“Oh dear. Didn’t you get taught you should always share?” Grindelwald taunted and Newt sniffled. The tears looked real, absolute desolation written in the pout of his lips. The small whimpers as he watched more of his ice cream be sullied by Grindelwald were heart wrenching to the point that even the dark wizard stopped to regard him.

“Daddy I just wanted ice cream. Why won’t the evil man let me have it?” Newt looked up at Percival who stared at him frozen and wide eyed. In a world first Percival stuttered. That pause was all it took for Newt to go from light sniffling to a wail of absolute despair.

“My ice cream.” He howled. Grindelwald took a step back, utterly unprepared for the full throated cry from a toddler.

“I’ll get you a new one if you shut up.” He offered in a panic.

“I wanted that ice cream.” Newt stubbornly sobbed. In a fit of rage he stood up and precariously walked from Percival’s side along the bench they were sat on to his ice cream. With the full might of a sad and furious four year old he picked up the ice cream and threw it at Grindelwald. It broke the spell. Seraphina and Percival whipped out their wands and disarmed Grindelwald who stared mournfully at his ruined clothes. A dollop of whipped cream slid sadly down his waistcoat and plopped onto his shoe. Restrained and disarmed, the threat was gone. Newt looked at Grindelwald and smirked.

“Wanker. That’s what you get for ruining my ice cream.”

“Newt?” Percival asked softly.

“Yes?” Newt’s voice was back to normal.

“Never ever call me Daddy again.”

Seraphina couldn’t hold back her laugh as Grindelwald stared at the man and the child having a stare-off. Nodding once Newt turned to Seraphina.

“Can we go home now Mu-”

“Don’t even think about it.” Seraphina warned, paling at the words and it was Percival’s turn to laugh. Newt sighed.

“Ice scream, I scream, you  scream, it all gets awkward and the aurors turn up. I just wanted some bloody ice cream.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come for a chat on tumblr - @ladyoftheshrimp


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